# Lost my Wife



## FishingCop (May 6, 2015)

I have been a member of this site since it's inception, but, when my wife became ill with a rare form of very aggressive Parkinson's, I gradually became less involved. We had to sell our boat because she could not get into it any longer, nor could she hold a pole and fish or reel or anything. She was already in poor shape when we had the outing at Dale Hollow way back when. After that, I was less and less involved and really only read the fishing reports, Watering hole, hobbies, and, of course (as you know) the jokes  I was no longer participating in any of the other forums nor was I doing any fishing due to being and staying home with her.

My wife of 37 years succumbed to her illness yesterday morning. We were by her side when she passed and she was comfortable and without pain with the morphine we had been giver her the last 3 days. She was a real fighter and hung on for many months longer than she should have, but she wouldn't let go. She was totally disabled, fed through a feeding tube, couldn't move or speak or eat for the past few years.

She is now out of her severe pain and misery and in a better place than what she had been in the last 8 years fighting her disease. It was truly a blessing for her to finally let go.

I don't know what the future holds yet - maybe I'll get back into fishing and golfing, etc.? I am now 66 years old and need to get back into better physical shape as a first and highest priority. I retired after 30 years as a police officer in July of 2008, the same year my wife became ill and I had my bladder and prostrate removed because of cancer. I am still cancer free and the only disadvantage is wearing an ostomy bag for urine - they disconnected everything else so I don't work sexually anymore since then (grrrr).

So, I'm sorry for this long PLOM (poor little old me) post, but it is just a part of my grieving and healing process. I am sure there are many other members with larger issues than me and have lost loved ones too. Sitting here alone for the first time in 37 years, I just needed to vent a little. Thanks for listening.....


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## WaterWaif (May 6, 2015)

Post away if you feel like it.
Dad lost his longtime partner and while it gets less painful over the years,it is never forgotten.
Day at a time. In a couple weeks roughly/maybe it will get quiet again.
No blame should be on yourself, because sometimes someone thinks they could have done better caring, or if only I had....

Keep goin forward at your chosen pace. Maybe down the path the urge to let fish get in the way of fishing again may strike. 
I offer you condolences and in time, a compromising acceptance kind of peace.
As well as bright memories of highwater marks with your Mrs..


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## KillerJ (May 6, 2015)

So sorry for the loss of your wife. 37 years is a good long run. 

I'm also a police officer (only 8 years so far) and I thank you for your service. 

I highly encourage you to take up fishing, boating, and golfing again. Being out on the lake or golf course can be extremely therapeutic.


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## overboard (May 6, 2015)

Sorry to hear; my condolences to you and your family.


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## Steve A W (May 7, 2015)

My condolences and prayers go out to You and your family.
Don't hesitate to pick up a fishin pole, Go to your favorite fishin hole
and remember the good times.

Steve A W


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## DocWatson (May 7, 2015)

My condolences for your loss. 

“May there always be work for your hands to do.
May your purse always hold a coin or two.
May the sun always shine upon your window pane.
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain.
May the hand of a friend always be near to you and
May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.”


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## bobberboy (May 7, 2015)

Sorry to hear about this. I guess it goes without saying that your life will be different from now on. I hope whatever path you choose will be a good one. 

And BTW, thanks for all those jokes.


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## Jim (May 7, 2015)

I am so sorry for your loss. Let me know If you need anything. Prayers for you and your family.

Jim


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## skunkstripe (May 7, 2015)

So sorry have you in our prayers


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## TNtroller (May 7, 2015)

Everyone grieves at a different way or path, condolences for your loss and best wishes.


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## Captain Ahab (May 7, 2015)

Damn this sucks!

Contact me anytime


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## fool4fish1226 (May 7, 2015)

I am so sorry to hear about your loss, do what you need to do to heal. [-o< [-o< [-o<


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## BassAddict (May 7, 2015)

FC my sincerest condolences, I went through something similar to that earlier this month.


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## Zum (May 7, 2015)

My condolences go to you and your family.


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## jethro (May 7, 2015)

Sorry for your loss.


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## RiverBottomOutdoors (May 7, 2015)

Precious memories. How they linger. How they ever flood my soul.

I am humbled in the shadow of your courage. There is a bond among men that fish and hunt, even strangers are brothers. Your brothers here wish for you comfort and peace. We all hope that the good times of yesterday keep you in good spirits and that you make new good times today and tomorrow. We may leave this physical world, but by living in the hearts of our loved ones we become divine and our love immortal.


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## KMixson (May 7, 2015)

I am very sorry to hear this. I know you feel at a loss right now and that is natural. Thirty seven years to get acquainted and then she is gone, I can't imagine that. If you need someone to talk to, PM me. I will be glad to talk. Hope you hang in there as best as you can. Again, Sorry for your loss. God Bless.


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## poolie (May 7, 2015)

Just damn Fishingcop... I'm so very sorry for your loss. Do take care of yourself and get healthy. You have a lot of years left. 15 years ago my dad passed away in his early 60's from leukemia. My parents married just out of high school and my dad was pretty much my mom's whole world. After his passing she withdrew and was spiraling into depression. With a lot of pushing and prodding, my wife and I started getting her out of the house keeping her busy. Long story short she bumped into a long lost friend who was also a recent widower and as they say, the rest is history. I've never seen her happier. 

I know things are dark and a bit numb now, but it won't last forever.


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## Seon (May 7, 2015)

Condolences


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## huntinfool (May 7, 2015)

So sorry for your loss. I always enjoyed your posts. I hope to see you around.


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## lckstckn2smknbrls (May 7, 2015)

I'm very sorry for your loss.


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## duckfish (May 7, 2015)

I pray for peace and solace for you and your family.


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## richg99 (May 7, 2015)

Very sorry for your loss. I can relate in a small way. I lost my 48-year-old son a year and half ago to viral pneumonia ....suddenly. Never been so shocked and "out of it" as I was when that happened.

Time does help. Don't believe that it makes you forget, it just makes remembering..... hit you a little bit less often. 

Get as involved in as much physical stuff as you can. It does help pass the time.

Two years from now, you will be better at accepting. That's what it is all about. Not forgetting, but rather accepting. richg99


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## pastorrichk (May 8, 2015)

So sorry for your loss... completely inadequate words... May the comfort promised by God in II Corinthians bring you a peace that transcends the pain you are going through... post away if it helps... we're all a mess in some way... just going through this world doing the best we can... we're brought together here by a common interest... but would be glad to just lend an ear to a friend...


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## Kismet (May 8, 2015)

FishingCop, I'm so sorry for your loss, and the trauma you are enduring.

I lived with the end in sight of a loved one, and the amalgam of shock, pain, relief, and disbelief still come back to visit at the oddest times. It's like part of my mind and heart still don't understand.

Be gentle with yourself, Sir.


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## Insanity (May 8, 2015)

Post away buddy! I'd imagine it helps. And we are all here for you. 
Been with my wife for 25 years now. And I shutter at the thought of loosing her. 
Sorry for your loss and thank you for your service.


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## fishnpreacher (May 8, 2015)

Words at a time like this seem so inadequate. The Bible says "test everything, hold on to the good." So hold on to the good. I'm sure the good far outweighs the bad, and the memories will all take on a good spin. My prayers to God for you and your family.


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## muzikman (May 8, 2015)

My condolences to you and yours.


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## FishingCop (May 10, 2015)

Thank you all so very much for your thought, prayers and best wishes. I appreciate all the kind words. Difficult times ahead but my son and daughter and I are strong and we will get through the tough times together.

Joe


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## tablesaw (May 17, 2015)

Very sorry to hear that. It takes two special people to be able to put up with each other for 37 tears. I wish the best for you and your family.


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## fender66 (May 19, 2015)

Joe - (FC),

Just saw this and can't tell you how sorry I am to read this news. Prayers for you, your family and your wife.

We are family here and you can reach out to me, or most any of us at any time I'm sure.


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## lswoody (May 30, 2015)

Praying for you FishingCop


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## Fishin Aint Easy (Jun 12, 2015)

[-o<


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## mirroman (Jun 20, 2015)

So very sorry for your lose, reading your story brought tears to my eyes. Hang in there it will get easier to cope, time does indeed heal all wounds including broken hearts. Continue with what you love to do it will help with the grieving process and remember all the good times you enjoyed together.
Prayers for you.


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## borntofish (Jun 21, 2015)

My sincere condolences to you and yours. Your jokes always made my day. I would copy and paste into my e-mails. Get back to fishing if you can. Someone here said it was therapeutic and I agree. It helped me with the loss of my father years ago. Still helps today when I'm out in the boat.


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## Yakfoot (Jun 29, 2015)

You're at the helm, force 5 storm, decks awash in foam 3 feet and mountains of sea all around.... I lost my best friend on Jan. 15, struck down suddenly. I turned down his road at daylight and encountered a sight I shall not forget. His wife, of twenty something years, walking down the road towards me in the dawn, her face contorted in pain and tears streaming down her face....trying to give his confused dog his daily morning walk.
She was just trying to go on, decks awash in pain. I have spent some time since thinking what would I do if I lost my wife of thirty something years. How would I go on, could I go on...those questions based on a personal knowledge of the reality of pain during my life. Should I pay 3 thousand for that motor to get going again? I mean really. What is on the horizon? I see clouds, but there is sun behind them I think...not sure. Love is a wonderful thing, life itself, and unknown to us when young, at the end is pain. Maybe greater, maybe lesser but pain almost for sure. In the tally I think its worth it to go on. Love has propagated itself around, and in it there is a harbor from the storm. The boat will never be the same but she'll still run and can at sunrise and set show you beauty over the water again.

As I think of how profoundly sorry I am to hear of your pain I cannot separate myself from the thought and hope that I will not follow you in that storm and have to act on these same words to you.

Charles


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